What is
CBT ?

REBT/CBT is an evidence-based therapy that focuses on how our thoughts, feelings and behaviours influence each other.

Often in life we get stuck in ways of thinking about, ourselves, others and life in general, which causes many emotional problems.

REBT/CBT can help you to understand & change the beliefs you are holding about life adversity & triggers which in turn changes how you feel.

Now this might sound impossible! But it's not, now it does take time and commitment to learn new skills and challenge old thinking & behaviours, but when you do, you will see how much clearer your mind becomes.

What REBT can help with is to bring awareness to the choices we have, we always have a choice of how we perceive something, now, I don't mean that when an event that has happened that hugely impacted you, I'm not asking you to be fine with it, or just carry on or get over it…. No, that would not be helpful, what I'm talking about is using REBT to move you towards a Healthy Emotion to deal with that situation… Healthy Concern rather than Anxiety, Sadness rather than Depression, Healthy Anger rather than Unhealthy Anger.

When our thinking becomes rigid and we become stuck, REBT looks to the meaning you are placing on the event to break the cycle.

When we rigidly become stuck, we can look to the meaning we placing on the event to break the cycle.

Now, the thing with Healthy Emotions they allow you to see the whole picture, they allow you to cope better, they enable you to constructively deal with a problem, in a nutshell it has a far better outcome for your Mental Health and Wellbeing. Whereas Anxiety, Depression, Avoidance and all of these emotions and behaviours maintain your feelings and keep you stuck.

Here is an example of how we can think in another way (Changing our Beliefs) to help ourselves in any situation

Let's talk about Uncertainty!!

For most humans the most common disturbance is based around Uncertainty, we want Certainty, it makes us feel safe, we feel in control

Now, wanting and preferring to have certainty is ok, however, if we then turn that into 'I have to have certainty', 'I need concrete evidence', then when I'm faced with uncertainty (and let's face it, that is all the time in life!) then I am going to really struggle to cope with it and do everything to try and get certainty and control.

My thoughts will awfulize, I'll doubt my ability to cope, I'll blame myself, others or life in general!! My behaviour will also change, the brain will tell me to avoid this horrible feeling, so I'll limit what I do, who I see, risks I take, and the consequences of all of this, I limit myself, I reduce the things that I like, I miss out on connection and growth and even opportunity, and all this is down to what I'm telling myself uncertainty means, and how I'll deal with it.

You may think, well, I've had uncertain time and the results were really bad, and it did have a massive impact on my life, this is where REBT helps, it's based in philosophy so it's an approach to life in general, a new attitude to life if you wish… woven into REBT is the key to a happier life, Acceptance!, now this doesn't mean likening or disliking it's about acknowledging what is that means acknowledging that you may want something to happen or not to happen, but accept that it doesn't have too, and its normal for bad things and difficulties to happen sometimes, believe it or not, this is what make you more able to face challenges, because we then have a balanced perception on how bad it is, how I'll cope and the big thing it does not mean that I'm a failure or whatever the inner critic tells you.

This approach is balanced and accepts reality, it reduces extreme spectrums so you can learn to accept yourself, others and life, so you can focus on what you really value and want in life.

Now back to a Healthier view on Certainty

Its ok to want, or like, or prefer certainty, and when we accept that yes I want it, but don't have to have it in every situation, your rational brain can have a more balanced view of what is happening, it may acknowledge that it feels bad or difficult, but do you know what, I can deal with this and you will have a clearer head in how to deal with it, you won't blame yourself unnecessary, you won't blame others unnecessarily or life, you will be more able to face situations and feelings rather than avoid or suppress them

When we can approach our problem/s in this way, the noise in our head is reduced and we are able to see how we can help ourselves, it brings awareness to the impact of what unhealthy emotions do to your thoughts and behaviours and how much more difficult it makes it for you.

When we do this, we also make room to focus on what we value & where we want to spend our time and energy.

This is just a snippet of how our perceptions (Beliefs) influence how we think & feel & behave