Understanding comes first.
We’ll begin with your experience, then work together on changes that matter to you.
Your experience
We’ll begin with what’s brought you to therapy and how it affects your everyday life. Your experience will help us decide what to focus on.
What keeps it going
CBT helps us look at the connections between thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and behaviour. Together, we’ll notice patterns and explore whether ways of coping are helping you now.
Finding what change looks like for you
We’ll explore what you’d like to be different, whether that’s feeling less caught up in worry, being kinder to yourself, finding enjoyment again or working out what matters to you. Together, we’ll look at beliefs that may be holding you back and find manageable ways to explore something different, at a pace that works for you.
Taking it into everyday life
Understanding your patterns is an important part of therapy. We use two practices to help turn that insight into change, tailored to your experiences and what we’re working on together.
Dropping Anchor — notice thoughts and feelings, reconnect with the present and make space to choose how you respond.
Try & Discover — try something we agree together, then explore what happened and what you learnt. These experiences help us examine familiar beliefs and discover different ways of responding.
Understanding what
you’re going through.
The ABC model helps us understand how situations, beliefs, feelings and responses connect. In this example, being asked for a favour brings up a belief about letting others down.
Someone asks me for a favour when I already have a lot on.
“I must not let people down.”
I feel anxious and guilty, notice tension in my body, and say yes when I want to say no.
Saying yes may bring relief, but leaves me overstretched. I miss the chance to learn that I can care about others and still have limits, even when someone is disappointed.
Explore the beliefs behind this
Exploring the beliefs
- Rules
What have I learned about how things should be?
“I must not let people down.”
- Predicting
What am I expecting might happen?
“If I say no, they’ll think I’m selfish.”
- Meaning
What does this mean to me?
“Putting myself first is selfish.”
- Core beliefs
What do I believe about myself, others or the world?
“I’m not a good person.”
What we might work on
We’ll explore what saying no means to you. This might include feeling you must not let people down, worrying that others will think you’re selfish, or believing their disappointment means you’re a bad person. Together, we’ll explore a more balanced view, such as:
“I’d like to help, but my needs matter too. Someone being disappointed doesn’t mean I’m selfish or a bad person.”
We’ll talk about what makes this difficult to believe and try small changes, such as setting a limit. What you learn can gradually change how you see yourself, how you feel and how you respond.
The approaches I draw on
CBT is the foundation of my work. I also draw on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which can help you relate differently to difficult thoughts and move towards what matters to you.
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) can support a more understanding and helpful response to self-criticism. We can also explore the body’s stress response and ways of feeling more grounded.
We’ll choose what fits your experience and what you want from therapy.
Explore practical resources ↗︎A free 20-minute call.
You can ask questions, hear how I work and take time to decide.